Tinfoil Hat: 3 Theories for Why Demidov Disappeared

A simple tweet from practice. Senegalese centerback Abdoulaye Diallo, who is on trial with the Loons, and Vadim Demidov were in orange practice pinnies. Maybe I am a conspiracy theorist, but I couldn’t but let my mind wander. What does this mean?

Demidov was not on the bench against FC Dallas last week; didn’t even make the starting 18. I chalked that up to possible injury or illness (he did miss practice for an illness), but being in the same get-up as a trialist today? LET THE CONSPIRACIES FLY!

He has fallen out of favor (most likely)

He has yet to impress during his starts. In his three starts, Minnesota United allowed 16 goals. That’s less than ideal.

While MNUFC is still allowing 3.67 goals per game, the defense is markedly better. The pairing of Francisco Calvo and Brent Kallman has been ... just everything. When the alternative was what we witnessed to start the season, Kallman looks like the most talented CB on the planet.

I think it is pretty clear that Demidov has simply fallen out of favor, but what does that mean going forward? I think a trade is the most likely way to get out of his contract, but what team is going to want to take on that much money? MNUFC is likely going to have to eat his contract no matter what they decide to do with him.

Probably the most prudent course of action would be to rest on their laurels right now, but I would start fielding offers. Demidov is going to be paid no matter what, but he also takes up an international roster spot. If Diallo comes off trial and becomes a full time player, Demidov may fall further down the depth chart. A highly paid, 30-year-old, international player that rides the pine is not a great use of roster space.

But that’s not fun. Let’s run some other conspiracies...

Vadim Demidov got a job working for the State

This tweet is quite possibly my favorite of the season so far:

I think @davemrth is right. I think Demi found a job helping bills pass through the MN Legislature. I mean it would make a lot of sense. If anything in the United States needs help letting things through, it is the government. Demi would be perfect for that position.

Demidov is a sleeper agent from Atlanta

Forget what I said about him falling out of favor. This makes the most sense. Demidov was never a player for Minnesota United, but rather was a player signed by Atlanta to slowly undermine the defense.

That or he was just being played out of position. But I like the idea of Atlanta bing evil masterminds that have paid the Norwegian centerback to sabotage the team.

Demidov found the One Ring and “must take it deep into Mordor and cast it back into the fiery chasm from whence it came”

This is a little less likely. The One Ring was forged in secret by the Dark Lord Sauron in the fires of Mount Doom. It is the most powerful of the rings of power. Demidov, as the ringbearer, must take the ring back to Mount Doom and cast it into the lava. Only there can it be destroyed.

Now, I don’t know when Demidov would have the time to travel from Minnesota to Mordor, but it is definitely a possibility. I mean, it has to about as likely as Demidov being a sleeper agent from Atlanta.

Editor’s Note: It appears that FiftyFive.One and Jeff Rueter have solved the mystery. Personally, I hope that Demidov went to become The Last Jedi, myself.